..and the numbers keep increasing! :)

Alhamdulillah, masih diberi kesempatanuntuk bernafas sehingga hari ini, genap 32 tahun berada di bumi Allah ini. Syukur atas nikmatNya.


Had a wonderful day today. Hubby treated me to breakfast at Old Town and a scrumptious dim sum lunch at the Marriott. The kaya toast that used to be one of the crown jewels of the kopitiam had deteriorated in quality so badly! It used to have a massive amount of butter to accompany the rich kaya.. but now the toast is just downright pathetic! The slab of butter was miniscule! Price remained the same, tapi cut corners everywhere. Yeah, prices have gone up, but it's not like they're using the best grade butter anyway. Reduce la sikit profit margin instead of reducing the quality. :p 


Haih.. tersasar pulak dari cerita birthday.


The dim sum buffet at Marriott?.. They are a bit kelam kabut la on weekends. Harini banyak steamed dim sum je.. yang fried ada dua plate je. Haiyoo.. what has happened to the nation's services industry? Isk.. tersasar lagi.. huhu..


Anyways, finally had the rainbow cake that i had been wanting to have since last year's fasting month (i was pregnant then, tak larat nak cari the cake, so that may explain my little son's slobbery-ness). Nothing great about the cake, really. Just that it has six lovely coloured layers of butter cake. However, the icing is a bit too sweet for my liking. Too sweet to complement the cake. Hmm.. should've have whisk coffee bar's velvet cake instead. Takpela.. teringin sangat punya pasal.


The best thing about today? My dear daughter got me a purse for my birthday, and she had my mother in law get it for me. Isy.. budak tuh.. She knows that she can wrap her gramps around her little finger! 


I think everyone had a great time today. Both the kids enjoyed themselves so much. Yang kecik pun, excited sangat sampai tidur pun sekejap2 je. Now, dua2 dah in bed, Alhamdulillah. Hope they sleep well so that mommy and daddy can sleep well too. :)


Ok.. past my birthday already. Time to go to bed! :)

Weight Gain

For the first time ever, i'm soo excited with weight gain. Well.. not mine, of course; of my darling son. Alhamdulillah, at his 2 mths + checkup, he gained about 900g and the paed was quite happy, and in turn made me happy. :D And that's an understatement.

Alhamdulillah, looks like i do have enough milk for him to grow. :D I may not have enough milk pumped into a bottle (which i can only get around 0.5 - 1.5 oz per pumping session), but that's not what counts, right? Considering that i'm not going to work and i can bf him directly full time. It's the milk that gets into his tummy that counts.

Speaking of which, just to share the news, my application for 2 years unpaid leave had been approved! :) Next week i'm going to the office to clear my stuffs. I'm ecstatic about the leave, but i can't say that i'm not worried at all about my financials. I still have bills to pay on a monthly basis you know. Yes, i do get allowance from my husband, but its not the same as getting paid and having your hands on your own hard earned money, is it?

Now i can't just spend in a whim. Don't get me wrong, i'm not (really) a spendthrift. It's just that aku takde la berkira sangat kalau nak beli toys / baju for my kids or books / treats for me. Now that i won't get paid for the next 2 years, kena jimat cermat la sikit. Takleh la selalu nak charge to credit card. Huhu..

Takpelah, for the sake of the kids. :)

Full TIme Housewife

Alhamdulillah, my unpaid leave of two years had been approved by my superiors. So, lepas ni, jadi la full time housewife, jaga anak2, masak, etc, ala-ala domestic goddess gitu.. ;)

Monetarily, banyak jugak loss yang aku kena suffer for the next 710 days.. tapi takpelah, family punya pasal. Duit boleh cari kan? Lagipun, dengan pelbagai kes baby tercekik susu yang makin berleluasa lately ni, risau nak hantar baby to any nurseries/babysitters, unless of course it's my own mother. Tapi susahla pulakkan, 60km nak hantar kalau mama jaga. Huhu. Therefore, bersyukur2 sangat2 sebab we can still afford for me not to work and take care of the kids. I hope i can make the best out of the two years. Kalau nasib baik, dapat pulak sambung belajar bergaji penuh.. Sambung lagi cuti, tapidengan gaji.. hehe.. kalau nasib baik la..

The baby is doing well. Berat dia, tak tau for sure since we don't have a proper weighing scale for babies. Tapi kalau ikut digital scale yang sedia ada ni, dalam 4.5kg berat dia. Masa 7 weeks haritu berat dia 3.9kg. So it's going up, although it's definitely not in the 50th percentile. He's fully breastfeeding, with the occasional supplements of soy based formula. Kadang2 je, when we're out and about and we're pressed for time.

Apparently, he can be calm in his car seat while being driven around, provided that he's not sleepy and hungry. Otherwise, i'd have to feed him and ensure that he sleeps before buckling him up and drive around. Alhamdulillah, so far he's been quietly sleeping while i'm driving (baru dua kali je punnn... huhu..) Mak dia dah jarang drive because she's so paranoid that her son's going to wail all the way while she's driving. I've forgotten about how I handled that situation during Sarah's time.

He is also falling into a routine. Malam he sleeps around 9, all the way to about 4 am. He feeds, wakes up at around 6 (because he will be interrupted coz mommy have to wake his kakak up for school). He'll stay awake until around 7+, when kakak goes to school, and then he'll sleep, wake up again around 9. After his bath which he thoroughly enjoys, he'll sleep again til noon, giving me enough time to cook lunch. He'll be awake for a while before going back for nap at around 1+ (while still attached to the B, of course).. and will sleep until around 4 for a snack, and continue on til about 6. Then we'll get ready for the night... he'll stay awake for a while before nursing as long as possible before turning in for the night. Alhamdulillah, his nap patterns takdela erratic macam dulu. Huhu.. Cuma, his mommy is still nervous nak bawak dia keluar, risau dia nangis2 in public. I guess i still have some inhibitions about breastfeeding in public. Isk.. tah hape2 mummy dia kan?

Walaupun demikian, we still take him out on a weekly basis, at least for grocery shopping. Initially, dia tak tidur kalau keluar..but recently, dah boleh jugakla nak tidur, although tak la lena macam tidur kat rumah.. Although sometimes i wish that i can use my ring sling more effectively. Tak berani nak pakai lagi bila keluar rumah. Belum cukup confident. :p

*Yawn* Oklah.. dah lewat. Got an early day tmrw. Taking sarah for horse riding, and Seth will come along too, InsyaAllah. Lama dah tak bawak Sarah naik kuda. :)

End of Confinement

Alhamdulillah, it's been past 44 days of confinement. Both mommy and baby are healthy and doing quite well, although baby didn't gain significant weight, he's still gaining weight. Mommy lost the water weight and baby weight, but still very much overweight. :p

Anyways, mama went back home today, so now i'm on my own to care for the little baby, the preschooler and the husband. Thank God i have a maid to help me out this time around. I didn't have a domestic helper back then with my firstborn. Did everything myself, hand-washing baby's clothes, ironing hubby's uniform, cook, etc. How the hell did i do all that then? and how come i'm so bloody freaked out now with my second baby as soon as mama walked out the door?? I was in tears when mama left.. Sigh!

My confinement had been pretty much stress free, except for several occasions, way different from last time. However, i can sense that all the stresses are coming now, with baby's weight gain, his schedule which are not quite clear yet, the big sister's schooling, homework, piano... It's all too overwhelming! Haih... *Deep breaths*

Anyways, back to breastfeeding, just to remind myself, should i get myself into this again. The breastfeeding consultant asked me to do these in my plight to ensuring my baby's weight gain:

1. I need to eat 6 times a day - 3 main meals and 3 snacks. She suggested one hot drink (horlicks/milo/etc.) around 6, a breakfast at 9, lunch at 1, high calorie tea at 4, dinner at 7 and another hot drink before turning in.

2. I need to massage my Bs to stimulate them and increase the fat content of my milk.

3. I've to ensure that baby drinks milk and not fall asleep while feeding for at least 30 minutes to ensure that baby gets the hindmilk.

4. I've to make sure that i feed baby every 2 to 3 hours and wake baby up if he's asleep.

I followed most of her recommendations, just missing numbers 3 and 4 a couple of times, and i do feel some difference in my Bs.. it feels much fuller now than before. I'm going back to the paed this Tuesday and i hope baby gains well..

Hoping and praying that everything goes well. May Allah help me. Amin!~

... and baby makes 4: Part 2 - Breastfeeding

As natural as breastfeeding may seem, nobody will tell you that it's gonna be easy. Some lucky few will experience smooth sailing experience right from the first latch, while most of us will go through some bumps along the way.

I had always thought that the second time around would be a whole lot easier. Heh. Better luck next time (for me) in the breastfeeding department. I thought sore nipples and latching problems only occurs for first timers. Was i wrong! The second time around, i was as eager to breastfeed my baby in the delivery room as i did the first time. This baby, just like my firstborn, is reluctant to open his mouth wide enough to allow ample portion of the areola into his mouth. As a result of that (and me being impatient to wait until he opens wider), i got an episode of sore nipples that lasted for the first two weeks. Things got harder when he didn't sleep much, which made everyone tell me that he didn't have enough to eat, which of course made me panicky about my milk supply. I succumbed to the pressure and gave my baby some supplement in the form of glucose water on occasions. Regrets? Hell yeah! But then again, thinking about the sleepless nights, soreness and fatigue, the decision probably helped the situation a little (or so i would like to think).. so, redha je la...

I started having my makcik urut coming to give me post natal care somewhere around the 6th day post delivery. She advised that maybe i should give the baby a little portion of formula milk once at night. Out of exhaustion, i ditched the glucose water and gave my baby 2oz of formula milk at night, at the end of one of the night-time breastfeeding sessions.

My biggest fear is to not have enough milk to nourish my baby. My fear was realized when my son's pead wasn't very happy about his minimal weight gain past the one-month mark. He only gained about 400 g, when most breastfed babies can gain until about 1kg! He advised that i should supplement the feeding sessions with expressed breast milk, and come in again for assessment in two weeks. :(

I had been expressing milk since before my makcik urut comes.. but of course, i couldn't collect much. And, the few that i collected, were used during my massage sessions, which i had booked for 15 days (i have 2 more days to go). So, apparently, i don't have enough EBM to supplement after each feeding session.

I tried to breastfeed on demand (as i always did anyway), and one feeding session sometimes lasts forever, ending with baby sleeping in my arms. He will wake up soon after we put him on the mattress, which results in me not having the chance to increase my pumping sessions, and skip my snacks.

Anyways, i set a personal target that he should weigh 4.5 kg at the 2-week appointment (increment of 800g from previous visit), so my 1 week goal is for my baby to gain at least 400g. I promised myself that i didn't meet that goal, i was gonna increase si formula milk supplement to twice daily - once during the day, and once at night. I went to the hospital again for my postpartum check today, and took the opportunity to weigh my baby. Sadly, he only gained 200g from his previous weight, a far cry from what i had targeted.

Since i wasn't on track with the baby's weight, i went to see the lactation consultant.. well, she's not really a consultant i think, just assistant, trained one la. So after a good chat and assessing my diet and my latch, she advised that i have to ensure that the baby remains AWAKE and feeding for at least 30 - 45 minutes and to not allow him to sleep in that period, and to ensure that i feed him every 2 hours. I also have to eat 5 to 6 times a day.

I did some calculations, so i'm gonna have 2 hour nursing schedule during the day and 3 hours at night. Which means that it's time for me to wake my little munchkin. Sigh.. he's sleeping so peacefully.. kesian pulak nak gerak.. But i guess, it's for his own good.

Do wish me luck on my breastfeeding journey this time around. Harap dapat exclusive breastfeed sampai he's 2 years old. Amin!~

(Edit ) Note : I've decided to make the baby post into several entries, to share about my experiences, as well as to remind myself of these beautiful (and sometimes trying) moments of birth and brastfeeding and all things related..

... and baby makes four! Part 1 - The Birth..

Alhamdulillah, our little bundle of joy has arrived! The littlest addition arrived on Jan 25th, at 11.39 pm (It was my due date, FYI). It was a very long labour.. but well worth each and every minute.

Compared dengan yang first born haritu, this labour experience had been more difficult. It started with my water breaking at around 2.45 am on the 25th Jan. I didn't experience water gushing down, in fact it wasn't much at all, just wet my undies a little. Didn't even wet the bed. I woke up surprised, smelled my undies to be sure that it wasn't pee (sorry.. TMI.. heh.. By the way, amniotic fluid smelled sweet!) and when i succeeded in convincing myself that it wasn't pee, i woke hubby up, we went blur for a while, got MIL and FIL to come and wait at home for Sarah, and left for the hospital. Upon arriving, an internal was done to check how far along i was, and i was only 1cm dilated then. That was around 3.30 am or so.

Obviously, i couldn't sleep that night.

Around 8 something (a.m.), my obgyn came to check on me. Still around 1 - 2 cm dilated. Obgyn said that since my water had broken, i would have to deliver within 24 hours so as to not risk infection. He said to wait until around noon to see if things progresses, otherwise he will start me on pitocin drip. And that was just what happened. I was given 5 units of pitocin around noon, but not so much progress. By evening, another obgyn checkup, i was only about 3 - 4 cm dilated. By that time, i was getting exhausted of waiting. I couldn't sleep, nothing feels right.. macam ayam berak kapur. :p Obgyn increased my pitocin drip to 10 units and said that he could still feel the membranes, meaning that my water bag didn't entirely break, ergo the lengthy first-phase of labour. So he broke my water bag and said that insyaAllah, i'll deliver by midnight.

From 4 cm to full dilation, makin resah gelisah. When i was about 7 cm dilated (not sure what time it was, i know it was night time..) i asked for the entonox. I swear the mask didn't work properly. Laughing gas tu macam tak ada je. Takde effect langsung! Last pregnancy, i could feel that the gas made me high. Yang ni memang tak ada langsung. Hampeh! Anyways.. tak tau la memang sebab penat, ataupun dah lama sangat menunggu and tak cukup tidur, i was really tired and i felt that the contractions really, really hurt. Mungkin gak sebab umur dah bertambah kot, so ketahanan towards pain dah kurang. Huhu..

Around 11 pm, i was fully dilated. Nurses kat situ called the Dr when i was 8 cm dilated which was a bot a couple of minutes earlier. So i had to wait for about 4 to 5 cycles of "bearing down" moments before the Dr finally arrived and i can finally deliver my baby. Masa tu memang dah penat sangat. Takut sangat tak larat nak push and terpaksa surgery. Tapi, Alhamdulillah, Allah beri kekuatan, push pun tak lama, baby keluar.

Bezanya, masa first pregnancy, i felt that i was more in control. I could still control my breathing through my contractions, even masa deliver pun tak ada la macam tak tentu arah. Kali kedua ni, breathing memang ke laut, masa deliver pun tak boleh nak control.. memang tak tentu arah sangat2! Apapun, amat2 bersyukur, deliver tetap mudah, banding dengan orang lain yang kena vacuum etc, kan?

Jadi, sekarang baby dah 21 hari.. dan dia sudah bangun. Gotta go change his diaper now. Til next time!

Ermm.. Nope.. Still Not there..

Going into Week 39 now. One more week to due date. Still nothing yet. Just minor pre-labour symptoms: lower back ache, pelvic pressure, Braxton Hicks.. things like that.

Last check-up, again, obgyn reiterated that my baby has dropped (as in into the pelvic area). My weight has dropped too, he said common for mothers near labour in which the amniotic fluid would have lessened. He also did and internal on me, and said that although my uterus is already soft, it has yet to dilate. So, probably gonna take another week (or less) or so.

Personally, i think this baby will either come out on his due date or slightly later, but within 42 weeks. Hehe.. your guess is as good as mine. :p

Having said that, hubby dearest will have to go back to work next week. Luckily he's rostered to do only 2 flights, and both will be day flights. Alhamdulillah. He'll be around at night, and i sure hope that he'll be around when i'm in labour. Apapun, whatever that happens is for the best for all of us, kan?

Oklah.. I have another week of leave ahead of me. :)

Before i end the post, kepada sahabatku Nura yang jauh di perantauan, Happy Birthday dear friend! Semoga dipermudahkan urusan, dan diredhai Allah selalu. :)